What happened to country?

I apologize before hand, bout to go on a rant. What happened to country? These fucking crap singers nowadays make me sick. The music all sounds the same, more of the”oh im a good southern boy that go’s to church and shit” its boring. what happened to steve earle, black tar heroin, running moonshine down copperhead road and killing feds while his at it(see link). Or george jones, who i happen to be listening to while im getn drunk. The man was a rapid alchoholic who had so many wives and illegitimit kids hes still gota tour to pay the child support. Those old school guys had character, not good character but interesting ones. That man sang with heart and soul and meant every word of it. Not like most of these goddam singers these days. Its all fake fucking shit, im not saying you have to be an alchoholic or a druggie. George strait and alan jackson are for the most part clean guys. But they sang about what they knew and they did it with heart and they had COUNTRY instruments, fiddle, steel guitar,stand up bass(johnny cash). Not like the momo’s nowadays, i was listening to a song the other day that i thought was surely on a alt rock station, nope! it was on a country station. Cant even tell the difference now. I saw marty stuart in concert last night, definitely one of the most underrated musicians. I love that guy, he preaches country. Play actual country, dont give in to the nashville fuck heads and the money. I encourage all the younger people who like country to listen to the actual country guys, mid 90’s and before. To all the people that dont like country i say that your just listening to the wrong kind, gaurantee you listen to a song that doesnt suck you would like the sound. I shall end on george jones “wrongs what i do best”.

Sincerly: Mississippi Dunne

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/08/27/new-college-gameday-song-to-be-little-bit-country-little-bit-oh-god-kill-me/

The Foxes Lair

Location: Downtown on 4th between telfair and greene. You’ll see the sign, turn unto the parking lot turn right and you’ll see it straight ahead. Look for the firetruck.

Type: Neighborhood tavern

Alright i selected this one for 2 reasons, its one of favorites thus i’ve been there a lot so i know a lot about it. This is one of the bars i was talking about in the description, its tough for me not to have a bias about the lair but i will try to be as objective as possible. The lair is a great locals bar, kind of like cheers this is definitely the place where everyone knows your name. The nick name describes it perfect: Olde towns best kept secret and as far as im concerned augusta’s in general. Are the directions kind of hazy? yea it a tough spot for people who havnt been there before to find. The lair is mostly frequented by locals and Olde town residents. Everybody knows each other.  Carol and Birkie, the owners are very friendly and laid back. The decor is great, its in a basement, brick walls. Small but cozy, which when its packed and standing room only can be a problem but isnt too big a deal. Theres tables and a patio outside to sit at when its nice outside. Also there is a fireplace, it can be kind of a romantic setting. I’ve taken many a dates there. Note: i am not single, havnt been for a while. If you read this please dont take that the wrong way babe. It is mostly an older crowd at the lair, especially on weekends but dont mistake them for “old people”. Theres always some kind of festival going on which usually involves the fire truck, the beach bum parade, st. paddy’s even a banana parade(getting drunk, driving around downtown and throwing bananas at people). So honestly on the weekends its mostly an older crowd so if your younger this isnt the place to chase skirt. Note: on the weekdays the chances of younger people there are greater especially tuesday where Dr. John plays irish music from 7:30 to 9 a bunch of  med students pack the place usually, except during summer. Also wednesday is soup and conversation, free food which someone volunteers to bring in and if no one volunteers Carol cooks and she is good at it. Also wednesday is open mike nite which lately has younger people coming down to sing and play and partake. So if you gota band, bring em down. Speaking of that, I have been to damn near every place worth going in this city. And of course theres some country stars that hit the country club everynow and then but when it comes to local bands the foxes lair has the best music in the city especially in downtown. Yea thats right, dead confederates and all that which play every wkend at sky city or wherever are ok…i guess. But if you like Classic rock , pop for example prince stuff and even a bit of country you can find it at the lair. Most the people/bands that play there are within that genre but bottom line: If theyre good theyre playing. The best band in augusta bar none is Heath,Goudy and Hadley. They play there at least once a month. They have a decent beer selection, no draughts but they make up for it with plenty of liqour, some unique beers(belhaven, old speckled hen, and more) and the greatest bartender i have yet come across in augusta, judy. Im not much of a cocktail guy myself, i mostly stick to beer but my roommate who can make many a cocktails himself has, more than a few times gone in there with an old school cocktail request(rusty nail baby) to stump her and she didnt skip a beat. The wait time is rarely very long. Note: On tuesdays or whenever its really packed wait time isnt so quick, but on most occasions. I know i am a little biased, i did my best to be fair but its tough when im friends with half the regulars and the owners. So long story short i have taken a few friends there who had no idea it existed and now they try to come down whenever possible. Big picture: If your looking to chase tail, thats cool, go down to sky city or soul bar. If your hanging out with friends, want some good music or karoake on the weekends depending on the schedule, in a laid back atmosphere then go here.

Tipsy Mcstumbles

Location: 7th street downtown between broad and ellis, next to foxes shoe repair.

Type: Irish pub

I thought we might as well start off with Tipsy’s because the grand opening was last night and we were there. I’ve been saying for a while that downtown needs an irish pub, and with the no smoking laws in north augusta now not many people go to the Highlander across the bridge under wine world anymore, not sure if its still there, so i was excited about Tipsy’s. And for the most part i was very satisfied. I must note that Tipsy’s doesnt match up to the irish pubs in new york or the big cities for that matter but what do you expect in augusta. Not too many irish natives around here are there, so i dont downgrade it too much. Tipsy’s is a small place but it nice, cozy atmosphere. note: because of that when it gets packed it can get smoky in there and a little tight. The decor is fantastic, brick walls 2 flat screen tv’s and hard wood floors. They dont have a huge selection of beers but they have the usual draughts that irish bars should have, guiness, harpoon, bass, smithwicks ect for a reasonable price and they had a fairly decent liquor selection. The bathroom is as good as i’ve seen a bar bathroom be. It is small, one person so it does get backed up and they had some drainage issues last night with the rain and the floor had puddles on it but they had a drain in the floor and it still was better than most bar bathrooms i’ve been in. Its hard to say if everynight will be like this but the bartenders were attractive and very scantily dressed with kilt like mini skirts on and for being busy the wait didnt seem too long for a drink. Also we met the owner and hes a good guy. Overall i liked Tipsy’s, i do have to mark them down for a few subtle things, i would like to see a slightly better beer selection but its not a major offense. And something i noticed last night, they have a jukebox with the generic selections but i was hoping they would have some irish music on there and there was none to be found. Not saying other stuff cant be on there but an irish pub should have some irish music. At least a little.  But none the less I could very much see myself drinking here. Especially for a happy hour or maybe some evening beers on a week night. I could still see myself going on friday nights and such when its busy but it does get packed in there.

Note: Since Tipsy’s just opened i shall continue analyzing and shall make updates if needed.

Bar Nightmares

The purpose of Bar Nightmares is to fairly and objectively examine bars in the augusta area and to describe the their faults, their good qualities and how we would rate the bar overall. Of course we do have favorite places we go but overall we will be honest and tell it how it is.Not to brag but the Hooligans have been to many bars and know a good bar when we see one. we’ve been in augusta for over 2 years now so we have a pretty good idea of places to go, especially downtown. Between all of us we’ve burned down just about every bar down here. So consider this an informal guide for the lushes and drunks new to the area.

5 pure, red blooded, american movies…..in no certain order.

1. Red Dawn: come on, if watching red dawn doesnt want to make you punch the first pinko you come across, run to the mountains and start a guerilla war then respectfully, get the hell outa this country.

2. The Patriot: If watching this movie doesnt make you want to go mel gibson all over a brits ass….see rule for red dawn.

3. Roadhouse: Thats right folks, doesnt have to be just war movies on the list. One of my personal faves this movie makes you pine for the old days, where you could stab a bouncer and just get kicked out for the night(opening scene) and anything went. Most of all it taught all of us not to mess with bouncers who have mullets, it introduced us to the word “cooler” (apparently means to be the head bouncer) and probly got patrick swayze more ass than a toilet seat.

4. Rocky IV: Between the music, stallone running up mountains and by far my favorite villain of all the rocky movies( the man killed apollo creed for christ’s sake.) rocky IV is as red blooded as it can get. If you dont think so then “I must break you!”

5. Over the top: A relative dark horse, stallone plays a truck driver and professional arm wrestles to save his kidnapped son…..if that description doesnt entice you then, again, get the hell out of here.

WTF

This better work.

I Got It.

Maybe.

Where Is Don?

I’ll bet he’s at Sports Center.

Allow myself to introduce…myself.

Hello, my name is David Banter…it’s not my real name, but I don’t have much of a choice. My family’s pretty religious and I’m not sure I agree with attaching their name to anything that you’ll be reading here. With that said, I’m only going to change names; The places, events, and stories are as accurate as my corroded memory permits. So here goes… I’m from Jersey. I’m 26, 6’5, black, and have the ego of a ball player (I played from age 9-22) and the body of an English teacher (it’s not that bad)…  Some people convinced my then single mother that it’d be most beneficial. They said it’d keep me out of trouble. I guess they were right. At about age 15, I started hanging out with a D-1 basketball coach who I eventually began to refer to as my uncle (to avoid NCAA recruiting violations). I haven’t exactly looked at life the same since. His name is “I fucks”…This is seriously his nickname…This guy taught me about hoes, Hennessy, and how image and reality have absolutely jack shit to do with one another. Put a pen in that, he’ll get his own post. I’ve lived in Connecticut, Pennsylvania, California, New York, and Jersey. I’ve been to more bars, parties, and hedonistic events than I care to admit to. For this reason, I think I have a handle on what to expect from a bar scene. After all, I’ve been showing my ass in bars for over a decade now…  Over the years, I’ve developed a few rules:

1) Every girl wants to have sex…the place and time may vary….and you might not be their flavor…accept it…but they do want to…I don’t believe in “out of your league”…Derek Jeter wasn’t born into the MLB, he had to work on his game… with that said, people do plateau…depends on how bad you want it , Champ!

2) Afford people the same amount of respect that they afford themselves….example: girl steps in the club rocking band aids on her tits…she’s a ho, treat her like one…not all females develop into women…it’s a part of life…

3) If you pick up a married woman in a club, you’re only 30% at fault….don’t feel bad…however, don’t hate her hubby for kickin your ass later…simple risk vs. reward…when doing this, make sure you have an understanding that you will NEVER sleep at her house…always have a place with more than one exit…and accept the worst scenario before you proceed…. MILFs will teach you a ton…

4) No Bar fights…it’s stupid…period…

5) Go hard or go home…going out is not a spectator sport…if you end your weekends telling stories about everyone else’s activities, a self evaluation is in order…

6) Hitting on girls is a compliment… Women don’t paint their nails, do their hair, wear lip gloss, 100 dollar shoes, the “right” outfit, and vickie secret panties because they want to be left alone…they want to be noticed…maybe just not by you…this goes along with number 1

7) Have a signature drink…and know how to order it…example: I drink Cognac. I know it comes in a snifter. I know it’s made in france. I know to NEVER order it without ice…it’s called a Cognac “neat”… pick your poison and learn it…also, leave the chasing to the police…

8) Don’t lie on your dick…if you didn’t have sex with a girl…you didn’t…it’s that simple…that’s child’s play… and it’ll send you into a drought faster than an STD rumor..

9) If you sense that their feelings are too intense…it’s pimp or die..- Jay-Z… If she likes you waaaay more than you like her…let her go…it’s for the good of your car…

10) Separate work and play…limit the number of colleagues you party with…and try to never have sex with any of them…

Now that you have somewhat of an understanding of what I look for in a bar, continue reading at your own risk….